Summer Cooking: A Beautiful Watermelon and the World’s Greatest Burger Recipe

In keeping with previous cooking posts (ex. “Steamed Littlenecks via Beer or Wine“) here’s a new twist on an old fave…


How’s that saying go? “First you eat your food with your eyes, and then with your mouth…” Check this out…




Look, I don’t claim to be any great chef (I’m a cat for God’s sake!) but I do believe that even I could handle a project like that. (“McDonald’s’ Safety Alert!” As should be bleedingly obvious, care should be taken around sharp objects like knives!)


About that hamburger… Easy breezy… Just take a red onion (read on to understand just how many onions you’ll need) and dice it up into 1/4″ nibbles leaving them right on the chopping board. Next, roll your raw burger into the standard-sized balls, then smash them into the red onion cublets. Roll them, turn them, mash them, until the burgers can barely hold their shape. (We’re talking ground beef with bits of red onion through and through! Usually, a respectable patty will hold 0.5 onion.) Now, quick quick! Grill them puppies hot… When done… Surprise! Much of the onion flavor is gone… Here’s the deal as this old feline understands it…

As the beef cooks, its juices (fat mixed with blood) heat and look for cooler pastures. Why lookee there… Nice water-soaked Onion Bits O’ Heaven nestled in the meat… The dense fat/blood shoves the onion-water into the flames, then snuggle into the onion for their ultimate tasty demise… End result? You get a burger that tastes like a burger!

Yeah, I know… What to drink with über hamburger??? Beer. That’s what. Cold beer. Something like a fresh Bud from an old ice chest. Don’t let the flavor of the beer assault the flavor of the büger! And as for wine? Haw! Ask that snooty wine bustard Da Gizzz… Real cats eat real onion-laden quarter pounders and drink real beer. End of discussion.


Stay tuned for future cooking tips from between the racks…

Two cats blogging…


Wine Glossaries

* Nat Decants: A thorough glossary from Natalie MacLean, noted wine writer, speaker, and judge.
* eRobertParker.com: “The Independent Consumer’s Guide to Fine Wines”
* GLOSSARY of Wine-Tasting Terminology (Version 1.4 – Jan. 1995): A thorough collection of definitions from Anthony Hawkins.

Beer Glossaries

* ratebeer: Now that’s a straightforward name!
* beer-pages: Roger Protz and Tom Cannavan say that “it’s all about beer”.
* alphaDictionary.com: A fine collection of Beer dictionaries.

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