New Tutorial, St. Pattie’s Day, and Getting Thrown Out of a Police Station

Hey, Cisco and Ponchita here… (Yeah, we’re the ones who write this rag and go by the moniker of Two Cats Blogging.) I’m the rugged yet furry and tender fellow below.

Can't wait for Da Gizz to close this joint so I can liberate more wine!

First things first… Check the side bar on the right… There’s yet another free wine tutorial. How cool is that?

What else? Oh! St. Patrick’s Day… That was a blast… Just nice people and a couple of cats standing around talking and tasting a couple of wines. It truly was small town America – polite conversation from people coming from every angle. If you weren’t there, you really missed out on something special.

And finally, there is the time that yours truly and his buddy Rocky got thrown out of the Dennis Police Station. (Ponchita loves this story.) Well, it was a dark and stormy night… (No, it really was a dark and stormy night.) Before I go any farther, you need to understand Rocky’s sense of humor. It’s a cross between Steven Wright, Jean Paul Sartre, and Tim Conway. And at any given moment it could range from the angelic to the flat-out weird. Watch the video below, and imagine Hannibal Lecter playing the part of Tim Conway.




Anyhoo, we were there to bail out a buddy (Johnny) who was arrested for being… shall we say… harmlessly, but overly exuberant. (Ah yes… Back in those days we were all full of youthful exuberance and other stuff to boot.) But rather than sit quietly and let the desk sergeant process Johnny’s paperwork, Rocky decided to “tutor” me in the fine art of serial killing and general mayhem. He would sit back and ponder where Johnny had gone wrong in a voice plenty loud enough for the sergeant to hear. He’d ask rhetorical questions like, “Did he use the wrong knife?” And then he’d rock forward in a moment of solemn yet inspired epiphany and utter something like, “He didn’t chop up the bodies… That’s where he blew it. You’ve got to chop up the bodies!” And so it went, I convulsed with laughter, and begged him to stop, but he just rolled right along. “Johnny didn’t dig the holes deep enough…” “He should have run the guy over. Poison never works…” “Maybe he should have used a chain saw…” During those rare moments when I could catch my breath, I tried to reason with him, and told him that if we got busted, they’d be no one to post our bail. But he never let up. Still, there was a tiny glimmer of hope – the police officer was laughing howling too. And with that slight bit of encouragement, Rocky decided to take the game to a whole new level – he walked over to the glass partition in front of the officer and pressed his mug to the glass and began making faces. Well! That was all she wrote! The sergeant slammed the palms of his hands down on the desk and yelled, “That’s it!” and started for the door that led to our waiting area. My only thought at that point was, “I’m going to jail where the inmates, by sheer slight of hand, brute force, and another body part, turn male cats into female dogs!” Thankfully, that was not to be. Rocky and I were shown to the door and told to, “Get out and stay out!” The cop was still laughing as he walked away… I vividly remember standing in the rain and saying, “My God Rocky, we just got thrown out of a police station!” And his chuckling response was pure comic existentialism… “Yeah, I know… That’s something isn’t it?


Anyway, that’s a true story, though I’ve changed the names to protect the innocent.


Before we go… Stay tuned to this blog… Exciting things are coming including sales, giveaways, contests, and a weird bit of sanity that requires state approval.


See you by the racks,


Two Cats Blogging


Wine Glossaries

* Nat Decants: A thorough glossary from Natalie MacLean, noted wine writer, speaker, and judge.
* eRobertParker.com: “The Independent Consumer’s Guide to Fine Wines”
* GLOSSARY of Wine-Tasting Terminology (Version 1.4 – Jan. 1995): A thorough collection of definitions from Anthony Hawkins.

Beer Glossaries

* ratebeer: Now that’s a straightforward name!
* beer-pages: Roger Protz and Tom Cannavan say that “it’s all about beer”.
* alphaDictionary.com: A fine collection of Beer dictionaries.

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