For cripes sake Ponchita, will you turn up The Doors?!?
There… Ears starting to bleeding… That’s better. The owner “He Who Ignores Cats” Gizz is gone. Lights out…
“Mr. Mojo rising. Got the mojo rising!”
Getting even better now… This here is a post exulting the simple stuff – liver, Budweiser, corn on the cob… Screw it. Screw fancy wine and turn up Morrison.
“L.A. Woman!” (Let her rip Manzarek!)
Yeah… Just a simple post from a cat in the darkness with a grill, a buddy, Jim Morrison, a computer, and an occasional flash of light… Now we’re cooking!!!
Ya see dat Gizz?!? Ya see dat? Ignore us again will ya…
“Drive through your suburbs… Into your blues… Into your blues, yeah! Into your blue, blue, blues… Into your blues, oh yeah!”
Bruce et al… If ya even care, here’s how to make real fewd
- Crack a bud
- Get your paws on an ear of frozen corn and slobber so much butter on it you can’t even see the kernels. Then salt it to the point where your cardiologist will never need Viagra ever again. Mummify that abomination in heavy foil so that nothing can leak. Toss it on the grill and cook 8 to 10 minutes per quarter turn.
- Hose down some more of that tin foil with Pam and get ready to entomb liver in it. Slather A1 and crimp (and re-crimp) so that nothing can escape, not even the liver. (Feel that bass! No one here get’s out alive…)
- Next, toss the… Arghhh!!! Jeezuzz Ponchita, that’s Madonna! (I swear you leave that cat alone long enough and she’ll find Muzak!) Anyway, get the liver on the grill. Expect to cook it about 15 minutes and the corn roughly 35 total. You do the math and drink Bud during calculations.
- When it comes time to serve (ahhh… Blues Traveler… “Hook”… That’s more like it…), beware! Everything is loaded with steam and boiling oil. “I ain’t telling you no lie!”
- Don’t be put off if something is burned… Eat it anyway… Put on enough Tony Chachere’s and Tabasco and even day-old Demon Seed ain’t so bad. It will put fur on your eyeballs and lead in your pencil. “On that you can rely”.
So take that Mr. “Fancy Pants Wine” Gizz… Hope someone pops a noise complaint and calls the fuzz. What are they gonna do? Bust a couple of cats by these dark wine racks?
Cisco and Ponchita
P.S. I yacked up a hair ball on your office chair… But by the time you read this, you’ll probably know that.
* Nat Decants: A thorough glossary from Natalie MacLean, noted wine writer, speaker, and judge.
* eRobertParker.com: “The Independent Consumer’s Guide to Fine Wines”
* GLOSSARY of Wine-Tasting Terminology (Version 1.4 – Jan. 1995): A thorough collection of definitions from Anthony Hawkins.